Comfortless Confrontation

(Famous First and Last Lines In My Own Words)

A screaming comes across the sky. The most violent shades of grey wash over the clouds as they loom closer and solemn raindrops begin to fall. It's the kind of day where you just know something is going to go wrong. I look across the rickety wooden floorboards and see my grandpa, just sitting in his chair, rocking back and forth drifting in and out of sleep just as he does everyday listening to the soft sounds of rain hitting the roof. I study his expression for a while seeing every facial expression he's ever made through the lines and wrinkles on his face. I eventually decide to go over to him, something I hadn't done for years. My grandfather is a strict man, the type of man who would send you to your room without dinner or lock the doors and make you stay outside if you were out ten minutes past curfew. A man that never really understood me or my parents for that matter, and quite frankly did not want to. I was supposed to turn out the way he wanted, I was destined to become a lawyer or doctor or something more than a struggling musician working part time at a record store. I never wanted to be stuck in the boring routine of everyday work but he didn't understand that and decided to not have much to do with me. I always understood or at least told myself that because I know my grandmother passing away was hard on him, so much so that ever since that day he just sits in his rocking-chair and stares out the window. I hesitantly slink over to him, finally ready to talk again, my head full of questions and my heart racing. There are so many things I want to say to him but no words to form the thoughts. I finally am able to squeak out a sentence and I ask him the one thing I want to know. I wanted to know why my future plans had such an effect on him, I wanted to know why he cared so much. The thing that angered me was not the two years of silence but the words that came after. He told me he wanted me to make something of myself and not just sit around unable to fend for myself in the world. He told me he wanted me to live my life while I'm able to live it and not be...well, what I am. This statement was enough to bring a rush of anger over me. I could only think of how hypocritical the simple statement was, he is still able to live his life but chooses not to, because tragedy hit our family he shut out those he has left. He won't go outside of his small four wall world and refuses to move past it. To thank him for the "words of wisdom" he gave me I want to give him the gift he really wants... silence, I came to the conclusion that I need to leave him with few words I hope will make him think. Before I cross the threshold into the dismal unwelcoming world I say to him, in your rocking-chair, by your window dreaming shall you long, alone. In your rocking-chair by your window dreaming, shall you dream such happiness as you may never feel.